Michelle's cousins wedding was awesome. Last year her cousin Saida got married in Oaxaca. The day her cousin told Michelle's sister and Michelle that she was getting marry, they got very excited. One day their cousin called their house and she told Jessica, Michelle's sister, and Michelle "Girls will you like to be my braid maids" obviously they agreed and they were full with excitement, they choose their dressed and shoes, and they were counting the days for the wedding.
Two months before the wedding, their mom told them that there were going to be two parties. Michelle thought, oooh great two is better than one. It was till their mom told Michelle's sister and Michelle that it was going to be a typical Oaxaca party. They were going to use big old dresses, and they thought it was going to be very weird and boring. Michelle didn't wanted to wear this dress it was weird and you needed to put a corset bellow the dress that didn't lead you breath. My sister told Michelle "you need to wear it, do it for our cousin", and Michelle agreed.
They arrived to Oaxaca and everything was beautiful. The mountains, the sky, the plants it was awesome. The wedding was awesome, their cousin looked beautiful, and it was a beautiful ceremony. Michelle thinks her favorite day at the wedding was the typical Oaxaca party. She loved the food, the music, and in general Michelle loved that it was different from the others weddings that she had assist. Michelle thinks sometimes we judge thinks without knowing what are they really about. She thought the typical wedding was going to be weird and boring but she really like it and learned from another culture.
Michelle, I think you did very well in telling this story and I felt your and your sister´s excitement. The only problem is that you told this story in first person and it needs to be in third. It has a very few grammar mistakes that could be checked very easily. I loved your theme, but I think you should show more of the feelings you had at the beginning when you thought it was going to be boring. Good Job!
ResponderEliminarVery good, you include the theme and I really agree to it. Also when you add dialogue, remember to start a new paragraph and to add "" the quotation marks. You have some grammar mistakes that you should check again. That is what you should check more, because you have the conflict, theme, and dialogue. Very good, I liked your story.
ResponderEliminar